Belief

Last weekend I jumped in the car with my family to travel to Martha's Vineyard for the weekend and visit my husband's parents for Father's Day.  As we are sitting in the car on the ferry, my little one casually mentions the fact that he cannot wait until tonight because the tooth fairy is coming.  Not knowing he had lost a tooth at a friend's house that day, I was in complete shock and paralyzed with panic.  We were headed to the vineyard at night, no stores would be open, and Teagan thinks money is impersonal.  So when he loses teeth, the tooth fairy brings him small tokens - like Pokemon card packs.

So, as he is rambling away, I declare that because we are going to an island, it would be hard for the tooth fairy to get Pokemon cards there.  Teagan confirms that this is true, because the tooth fairy has to fly all the way to Japan and back to go get him special Pokemon cards and that would take several days.  That night we wrote a note saying as much: the tooth fairy would be back in five nights.

The next morning Teagan woke up and saw the note.  He was ecstatic! Teagan shared that the tooth fairy would never let him down. He BELIEVED the tooth fairy had his back, put him first, and was going to get the perfect 4 dollar pack of Pokemon cards in Japan.  What I thought was a crisis because of the potential to disappointment my son, turned into one of the biggest lessons of my life.

What if ALL of our children, and I mean ALL, BELIEVED that we had their backs? What if they BELIEVED that through thick and thin, no matter what they did or said, or what misstep they took, we would ALL be there for them? What if they BELIEVED we were resources and cheerleaders who would always help them? Can you imagine what life would be like if ALL children BELIEVED that ALL  the adults in their lives were there to help?

As we enter the summer months, I am making it a focus to see if I can make it so that ALL the children in my life (yes high school students - that is you too) BELIEVE that I am there, that I have their backs, and that I am their biggest cheerleader.  Why don't you try it too?

Why Finals?

I often hear students ask about finals. What is the point of them and why do we need them? There are many reasons. Although high school finals represent the culmination of courses, it also provides an opportunity for practice in the future. There are many times in life where the passing of a test is a requirement for the attainment of something.  In order to get a driver's license, one must pass a test.  For most four year colleges and universities, one must take the SAT or ACT.  AP courses require a test. To become a teacher, multiple tests must be passed. Trading on Wall Street requires the passing of different types of exams.  Becoming a military personnel demands the passing of multiple tests.  To enter graduate degree programs, standardized tests must be completed. 

Tests are a way of life, but there are better ways to look at them.  Tests are not punishment. They are opportunities to demonstrate that you are more resilient and resourceful than you know.  Tests cause people to plan, to organize, to figure out what is learned and what is still left to understand.  Tests bring people together in study groups.  Tests push you to your absolute best. If you change the way you look at tests, and continually say internally that you can do it and you will succeed, the results of the tests are likely to change as well.

During this finals season, sit down as family and make a plan.  Encourage group studying if that works. Get a weekly calendar and schedule breaks and fun activities too.  The brain needs space to rest just like muscles do after an intense workout. Make sure the study schedule is balanced and prepared in advance. This will reduce stress, increase confidence, and make for a calmer house.